Pudgy Alcoholic Uncle

I have gotten a few questions about my belly including requests for pictures. I will probably comply at some point but right now I am still coming to terms with the transition. The main issue is that I am not dealing with one of those cute little round pregnant bellies that you see. My body pretty much mirrors that of a 55-year-old man with a drinking problem. It's a combo beer belly/muffin top. Sometimes it looks like I have an inner tube on under my shirt. Other times it just looks like your basic Chicago football fan beer belly - jiggly and soft. Anyway, you can imagine the challenge it becomes to cover this with something that looks reasonable. So if you happen to have an older uncle with a serious drinking problem, can you ask him where he gets his pants? Thanks.