CrossFit

Due to the fact that Andrew is about to turn one and I still look 7 months pregnant, I have really been trying to get in shape and lose weight. My previous attempts have been unsuccessful. So I am trying something different called CrossFit. It is basically the worst thing you can voluntarily do to your body. Okay maybe second to giving birth, but a very close second. I'm convinced that in order to do CrossFit you have to be a) clinically insane or b) morbidly obese. Since I am both, it is the perfect workout for me.

How it works is that every day they set a "workout of the day." Everyone does the same workout, so classes are just people who get together at a certain time to do the workout. You basically do everything as fast as you can, which in my case looks like slow motion. The types of exercises are pretty much the worst things you can think of - all kinds of variations of push-ups, pull-ups, squats, and heavy weightlifting. You can see a lot of the stuff in the video below. I have done (or at least been told to do) most of the stuff you see there but the difference is that I do it using the lightest weight possible (or no weight). Also, I am crying when I do it.

Here are the pros and cons of CrossFit:
Pros -
1) Each workout usually takes less than 30 minutes so I can go, workout, get home and shower all in about an hour. This point is huge as I have no free time in life.
2) It is effective. This is not like 20 minutes on the elliptical where you can walk and talk normally and your body can easily adjust. This is hardest stuff I've ever done so I started seeing results almost immediately.

Cons -
1) It feels like I am paying someone to waterboard me.
2) I usually can't walk the rest of the day.
3) I am sore all the time.
4) My muscles hurt so bad I want to call 911.
5) I have stopped washing my hair and shaving my legs because I can't lift my arms or bend down with out crying out in pain
6) I wake up every morning feeling like I have been physcially assaulted by a stocky mobster wearing brass knuckles
7) The feeling of "I can't do one more [squat/lift/lunge]!!" usually comes about 30 seconds after I begin each workout
8) There are no fat people in the classes! To clarify, there are several weak and skinny people but no fat people (besides me obviously). I find this annoying but if I'm honest, it is somewhat motivating.
9) I could list more cons but my arms are so sore right now it even hurts to type.

Lastly, I didn't know whether to call this a "pro" or a "con" but the setting is one where the "coach" basically yells at you if you are at all slacking. If I pause I get yelled at, if I say I can't do anymore reps of a certain exercise they usually say it is because I'm "going too slow - get going!!!!" If I say I need a lighter weight they dismiss it and say that if I can carry it over to my spot then I just proved I can lift it.

I have to go take some more Advil now.