Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Next Chapter

I quit my job. If that's enough information for you, you can stop reading. The rest of this post will basically expound on those four crazy little words. I have gotten a surprising amount of questions about this decision so I figured I'd explain it for my enormous blog leadership. I also think it's good to document it for later.

The Backstory
I began working at Microsoft at the ripe old age of 22, straight out of college. I worked in three divisions, four different teams and had six different titles in my almost-twelve years at the company.  Looking back, I can't believe they hired me.  What does anyone know at 22??  Nothing!  But I was cocky, educated and a woman in a man's industry so the odds were in my favor.  I will not go into all the details of my 12 years there but suffice it to say that overall, I absolutely loved working at Microsoft.  I thought the people were smart, the technology was interesting and the business was exciting.  They paid for two condos, three cars, one wedding, two childbirths (including maternity leave), one graduate degree (MBA), and countless trips to various parts of the world.  They took good care of me and "raised" me in my career.

The Buildup
In the spring of this year, it just seemed like life got way busier and more stressful.  I still had my full-time job at Microsoft but was only working part-time in the office (11 am to 5 pm).  We had an awesome nanny who took care of our two babies during these hours, three of which the kids spent napping.  In the mornings and evenings I spent time with  my children, in the late night hours I caught up on work.  At that time we were just coming up on my big conference that I run every year.  I was working until 1 or 2 in them morning every night.  In the time in between I did everything else that life required - housework, bills, shopping, church assignments, playdates, laundry, exercise....you know, life.  Except the "time in between" was nonexistent so I didn't actually get any of that done.  Still, Paul is a very hands-on husband and father and we were making it work...barely.

The Decision
Ever since I became pregnant with Leah, we knew that me quitting was the long-term goal but the time was never right.  Financially, it was not feasible for us to live on one income and after 12 years at Microsoft, I was getting a nice deal.  On top of that we always felt like our kids had plenty of time with us, it wasn't like we were dropping them off at a daycare at 7:30 am and picking them up at 6:00 pm.  But it got to the point where it was starting to take a toll on our marriage and I was totally and completely exhausted.  I just knew it was time.  If I quit, I couldn't see how we would make it work but I hoped we could figure it out.  "I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." Ether 12:6  So I took the leap of faith and gave my notice.

The Fallout
My boss was not happy to hear my decision (that is putting it mildly) but I was surprised at the support that I got from her and from the rest of my team, mostly phrased in an "I'm so jealous" kind of way (from both men and women).  I also got a lot of support from my colleagues saying they would watch out for contracting gigs for me and to keep in touch so that if I want to come back when the kids are in school they could help me find something.  It was just what I wanted to hear and reinforced my decision.

The Aftermath
I was worried that I would struggle with the transition but let me tell you, so far it's been wonderful.  I thought I might be a little bored but we are super busy!  At the same time, I am much more calm and relaxed.  For the first time in a long time, I have some down time during the day while the kids nap.  I am also working out regularly which feels really good.  All of this is making me a happier and more relaxed mama and wife.  Life is good.  I'm not going to sugar coat everything, we are really stretching to make it work but it's worth it.  I'm also struggling a little to come to terms with my identity sans professional endeavors, but much less so than I expected.  Lots of good, unexpected things have developed too.  Paul's career is getting stronger and stronger, our nanny (who we obviously had to let go) is finally getting a baby to adopt after over 10 years of trying to conceive or adopt.  We are blessed.

The Pet Peeve
As you can see I have been really happy with my decision and things are going great.  However, there has been one recurring reaction that has been somewhat irritating.  There is a subset of people who, when I tell them I quit, have reponded with some variation of "It's about time" as if I finally figured out a mistake I had been making all along.  The thing is, I quit exactly when I needed to and not a day sooner or later.  I'm happy with the time I spent working, I was happy with time I spent with my kids and the care my children received in the few hours I was away.  I'm happy with the money that we were able to save for our future during that time.  I'm happy with all the benefits we took advantage of and I'm happy about the intellectual and professional growth that I achieved.  When I stopped being happy with those things, I quit.  I'm totally satisfied with the years I spent working and the time at which I quit so I think it's kind of weird how people will sometimes assume that my decision implies otherwise. 

So that's the story of my big transition.  It was a great run at Bill's house but now I'm ready for the next chapter of life.  On that note, anyone want to hit up the zoo tomorrow? :)

8 comments:

Meagan @ Meagan Tells All said...

I am so happy for you! I definitely didn't know all the details of what encouraged you to 'resign' (sounds so much better than quit!), but I could only imagine doing the mama thing AND being a full-time professional. I can't even fathom the type of stress you felt. Holy cow girl. I hope you're still treating yourself to manicures every so often :-) Your kids have always been happy and healthy. You had a great thing going, but you're definitely right, and it goes for anything in life- when those things stop making you happy, you need to change something.

Valerie said...

Good for you--doing what's right for you and your family! And I'd love to go to the zoo tomorrow--oh, wait...I only wish I lived up there.

Jen and Joel said...

Now you just need to move to Spokane and play with Ava and I.

sonya d said...

People are the worst. I have no doubt that you are very capable of living your life exactly the way it makes sense for you.
Cute pictures! I love the white dress!

onehm said...

So happy for you. And as a mama who still works (although mostly from home) I have to say I'm envious. :) I am looking forward to the day when my only title is "mama".

Black Family said...

I do admire you....and so hope that I was not one of the pet peever people for saying that on the phone the other night....your one of my faves and always will be! I just wish we were close so we could play....maybe one day back in Spokane?

The Carlsons said...

Welcome to being at home (24/7 now with some totally different "bosses") ;) I'm sure it's frustrating hearing those comments. You and your husband know when is best for your family. Acutally, God's timing is the best and He knows what's best for you. Don't let others make you feel guilty otherwise!

In any case, hope you enjoy this "new job" of yours. You are such a great mom, working out of the house or not! Have fun! ;)
-Maria

P.S. Your kids are too cute! :D

Anonymous said...

Esther, very happy for you and well writted blog. always love reading your blog. You have been very inspirational in both professional and personal front. keep going and keep writing. life is short. doing the things you love is very important. totally agreed. regards, your friend "who cares" :-)